Top 10 Interpersonal List Of Skills
An
interpersonal list of skills is highly subjective. Breaking down the
interpersonal process uncovers distinct skills needed to effectively communicate
and develop successful interpersonal relationships. We may not use them
consistently, but here is my top 10 list of interpersonal skills needed to
create value from your interpersonal experiences.
1.
Look:
People
give us a wealth of information as we engage in an interpersonal encounter.
Looking for all the information requires skill. Eyes, hair, facial expressions,
dress, and body language give us important information about an individual.
Developing the skills to consistently look for this information is valuable as
you enter the communication process .
2.
Listen:
It
seems simple, but few of us do it well. Listening skills provide critical
information. Hearing an individual's message completely is critical. Missing
one small piece may change your perception of the message completely. As we
listen to the message, we are offered even more information about an
individual. Voice inflections, tone, and volume provide additional information
required for effective interpersonal communication .
3.
Ask:
Asking
open ended questions must be on this list of skills. Utilizing every
opportunity to extract even more information about an individual helps you
identify potential value quickly. The more efficient you become at extracting
information, the less time it takes you to effectively communicate and identify
potential value in a relationship. Utilizing this skill creates efficiency in
your interpersonal experiences.
4.
Learn:
Developing
the first three skills creates the need for another. Effectively looking,
listening, and asking will generate a large amount of information in a short
period of time. Processing the information quickly and learning efficiently
from it is not easy. Learning skills allow you to use all of the information
available to you.
5.
Understand:
Once
the information gathered is processed and learned. That information must be
applied to the individual you are engaged with. Generating a complete
understanding of the individual will create a more efficient interpersonal
process. Understanding the individual's mood, emotional state, feelings, and
demeanor will allow you to present your message effectively to the individual's
current state. Think of it as using the list of skills above to create a
"snap shot" if the individual during your interpersonal experience.
6.
Acknowledge:
Understanding
the individual is critical to acknowledge their needs. Acknowledging a person's
needs are an important part of the interpersonal communication process. It is
also necessary to develop successful interpersonal relationships. We all have
needs; using your skills to acknowledge other's needs make you more effective
in your interpersonal experiences.
7.
Identify:
Identifying
value is critical to your interpersonal experiences. Once the information is
gathered, processed, and needs acknowledged, you can begin to see where you can
provide value. You can also now see if there is opportunity for the individual
to bring value to you. Using your skills to identify value allows you to
maneuver through the communication process effectively as you know what is
valuable to you and to the individual engaged with. It also enables you to see
the potential opportunity in relationships.
8.
Commit:
Commitment
is an important interpersonal skill. Utilizing your interpersonal skills
requires time and effort. Only by making a commitment to effective
interpersonal communication will you achieve results. An individual may have
many relationships. Only by committing to develop your interpersonal relations
will you receive the value you have identified. Commitment is value to all of
us. When you give it, you will receive value from your interpersonal
experiences.
9.
Contribute:
To
receive value, you must contribute. Successful relationships are mutually
beneficial. Identifying potential value allows you to spend your time and
efforts in the relationships you feel will bring the most value. Only by
contributing value to your relationships will you see long term success.
Relationships quickly dissipate if only one party is contributing. The
communication process will quickly break down if all individuals are not
actively contributing to the process.
10.
Follow Up:
Seems
simple, but this is hard to find. The ability to actually do what you say you
are going to do a valuable skill. If you say it, do it! It seems so simple, but
it is extremely hard to find these days. Something so simple that builds so
much trust in a relationship. Following up adds value to the communication
process. If an individual trusts you, they will listen to you as they know you
will do what you are communicating.
Look
at your own interpersonal experiences. Look at this interpersonal list of
skills. Analyze your communication breakdowns, types of interpersonal conflict
, and types of interpersonal relationships you feel are not valuable. If you
do, I'll bet something on this list is missing. Use it to be conscious of your
interpersonal skills and create value! Understanding your interpersonal skills
will help you everywhere in your life from frienships to a securing a job. Use
this list for phone interview tips as you tackle the difficult questions in the
interview process.
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